Do all your conversations with your children end up in dialectic fights, insults and expletives? Don't worry. We are going to offer you some tips on how to avoid arguments with teenagers .
Let's agree on one thing: during adolescence, human beings go through a hard stage of great changes, of transition from childhood to adulthood, and all this generates certain incomprehension, loneliness, fear and anxiety.
But we can come to understand our young people in order to make this transition to maturity more bearable for them. One interesting way is to avoid eternal, constant and, in many cases, avoidable arguments.
Find out how to avoid arguments with teenagers
Having said that, let's start getting into the subject by knowing how we can achieve a more pleasant state in the environment in which teenagers live, who, in most cases, tend to be rebellious and not always necessary.
Stop yelling and blaming
We have to take the first step. Let's not forget that we are the responsible adults, and we have more tools to control similar situations.
So, let's stop blaming the young person and avoid yelling at him or her. Instead, let us try to look at the issue with objectivity and empathy, practicing active listening, seeking to understand the adolescent's perspective as well.
Internal analysis
We must carry out a thorough self-analysis in order to understand our reactions. So, if we argue, let's try to listen to ourselves objectively, so that we can investigate our way of acting, of treating the adolescent.
If we see that we belittle and avoid important issues, we should try to change it. Let's not make excuses or speak defensively.
Avoid giving too much importance to the young person's shape.
If we go too far in giving importance to the possible disrespect of young people and their attitudes, we may cause them to close their minds.
It is normal that he may leave in the middle of a discussion, or perhaps slam the door. When he does so, let him do so. It is not something that necessarily implies disrespect. He is simply in an emotional hijacking phase and is not reasoning. If we rise to his level at that moment, we will only make him angrier, and the same thing will happen to us. So it is convenient to let some time pass, give relative importance and find the right moment to clarify what has happened already more coldly.
Wait until everything calms down
As we say, fixing something when we are in the middle of the anger process, just like the adolescent, is practically impossible. So, as long as we are kidnapped by the emotion of anger, it will be difficult to find real and practical solutions. Therefore, let's allow the anger to pass and look for the key moment to talk calmly.
Each outburst of anger can be traumatic for the young person.
Remember that adolescents do not usually have a great management of their emotions. Therefore, when we see that they start to get angry, let's try to temper the environment before they start to avoid traumatic events.
In fact, instead of showing rancor and recalling every detail that was said, it is better to abandon this attitude so as not to heat up the atmosphere even more, dealing with the matter in a rather generalized way.
Other useful tips
Let's take a look at some other tips that will help you relax the atmosphere and avoid arguments with teenagers:
- Soften your voice. Avoid sudden movements and overly dramatic gestures.
- Don't try to win, it's not a competition. If you have to apologize, do so. Reconciliation is important.
- Make a physical approach when the adolescent is calmer.
- Recognize their merits. We must be honest, open and conciliatory.
Remember these tips to avoid arguments with teenagers, and remember, at Logos International School we have an experienced and specialized pedagogical and psychological office that can help you to redirect and improve communication with your young children.