Teaching children to resolve conflicts is a basic part of their education. And the fact is that children, throughout their lives, will be forced to face many different problems. Depending on their ability to respond with resilience and skill, the child will be happier and more fulfilled if this ability is high, and vice versa.
Step-by-step approach to teaching children to resolve conflicts
Whether at school or at home, it is important for us, as adults, to know the step-by-step that a child should follow when he/she needs to resolve any conflict:
- Keep calm: this is the first and most important step. Before facing a problem, it is advisable to put some distance, try to think coldly and calm down. This way, after taking a breath, you will find more coherent motives than if you react in the heat of the moment.
- Identification and understanding: once we have marked distance, it is time to think about the problem. Now we must look for ways of understanding. We identify the conflict, internalize it and analyze it honestly.
- Conversation and apologies: this is when a sensible and positive conversation should be established. Each person involved will talk about their feelings and views, active listening is practiced and, if necessary, sincere and appropriate apologies are made.
- Resolution: this is the time when children should use words like "sorry" and muster goodwill to promise to improve their behavior in all that concerns them.
- Follow-up: once the conflict has been resolved assertively, it is time for consequences. As adults, it is advisable to follow up to find out if the strategies have worked. This way you can verify that the problem has been solved and that it will not reappear in the near or distant future. The same can be done by the young person to see if the problem has been satisfactorily fixed.
Improved conflict resolution techniques
Next, we consider it important that, as parents and teachers, we know some interesting techniques that help children to acquire social and emotional skills properly developed to resolve conflicts and to face any vicissitude that life may present.
Emotion management
Let us understand the need for children to understand and manage their emotions, especially the most intense ones. It is a job that has to be done from the earliest childhood, so that, as they develop, they have the appropriate emotional education to adapt to each stage of their lives, getting to know themselves better.
Verbal expression
It is as important to manage one's own emotions as it is to know how to express them. It is important for children to be clear about this, both emotionally and in their thinking. Developing this skill will make it easier for them to identify and explain how they feel, communicating any concept appropriately.
Critical thinking
Through critical and logical thinking, the child has an easier time identifying problems. In this way, they will be able to anticipate the conflict, intuit it and solve it before it becomes entrenched or could go further.
Empathy
If the child is sufficiently empathetic, he or she will be able to better understand the perspective and feelings of others.
Understanding other people's fears and desires and knowing how to help them will be an important task for children to be able to solve problems appropriately and respond in the best possible way.
Negotiation
Undoubtedly, in life you always have to negotiate. Reaching agreements by being flexible and open, knowing when to give in and when to stand firm, etc. In the assertive capacity of the children, in their options to generate diverse creative solutions to the same problem, and in their knowledge and ease of learning to apply them to practical cases will lie their ability to be a competent negotiator.
At Logos International School we have a complete pedagogical office specialized in helping children acquire these and many other skills.