We are aware that working with unruly adolescents is never easy. Whether at home, at school, or even in the workplace, serious problems can arise anywhere.
However, it should not be forgotten that adolescence is a key phase in human development, since it is the time when the foundations of the individual's personality are laid. This is when identity is defined, hence its importance.
Therefore, it should always be kept in mind that, at this point, individuals go through a kind of disconnection phase in which they seek more independence, even though some, in their immediate environment, are still considered children. That is where part of this rebelliousness begins to take shape.
That is to say, conflicts begin to appear in the family nuclei that make the extra-familial contexts become ideal places for young people to express their discomfort and frustration.
Family structure
It must be understood that the right family structure is an important foundation for adolescents. According to Fishman's description, widely used in the psychological study of young people, every rebellious adolescent usually develops in a family environment characterized by porous limits and boundaries.
To understand each other better, we can say that these porous families are characterized by a low hierarchy, in which everyone knows a lot about everyone else and allows the advice coming from the outside to penetrate with force. And this can provoke in the youngest members a certain intolerance to frustration, which turns them into rather passionate, conflictive and rebellious members.
Avoiding similar situations involves a parenting style based on secure attachment and positive discipline, creating environments that allow for talking, negotiating and reaching agreements.
Tips for working with rebellious teenagers
Let's see how we can approach rebellious teenagers from a productive point of view, to improve communication and connection with young people.
- Establishing positive discipline. Appropriate and negotiated boundaries, knowledge of consequences if not followed, and constant communication to reach sensible agreements will be basic elements in creating an environment of mutual respect.
- Improving education. We must invest as much time and as much energy as we have so that children are educated, go to class, learn and improve their emotional formation. It is the most effective way for them to channel their behavior, connect with themselves and also with the people around them.
- Firm decision making. When you make a decision, no matter how hard it may be, you must be firm in it. If we give in and do not lead by example, we are not doing the adolescent a favor. Therefore, we must behave as we would like them to behave.
- Avoid comparisons. It is said that they are always hateful. If we are constantly comparing some teens to others, we can damage the self-esteem of those teens who get hurt. This unwanted situation can make them more defiant and rebellious.
- Avoid pressures that are not necessary. Sometimes we set goals for adolescents that they do not really want to have. That is why we must talk to the kids, know what their goals are, help them decide and allow them to move forward themselves, always with our help and guidance, but allowing the young people to feel that they are the ones who prosper, who are achieving their goals, without us pouring frustrations or desires that they may not want.
Always keep these 5 tips for working with rebellious teenagers in mind and remember that at Logos International School we have a team of experts who can help you in this process that, at times, can become very complicated for many parents and adults.